You know i still LOVE you baby, And it will never change
I want nobody, nobody but you I want nobody, nobody but you I want no one else but you Can't have anyone but you I want nobody nobody nobody nobody
Why are you trying to push me away? you know that I hate it,you ignore what im saying Why are you trying to send me to other? You push me away like a little each day why?
Saying that this is for my own good Saying that you are just not worth it Please, stop it right now coz'you know me enough that i will come back to you no matter what!
I want nobody, nobody but you I want nobody, nobody but you I want no one else but you Can't have anyone but you I want nobody nobody nobody nobody
I want nobody, nobody but you I want nobody, nobody but you I want no one else but you Can't have anyone but you I want nobody nobody nobody nobody
All the pushing won't change my feelings I am happy to have you, more than willing to please you i'm begging you please don't walk away from me Coz' i can't be happy away from your side
Saying that this is for my own good Saying that you are just not worth it Please, stop it right now coz'you know me enough that i will come back to you no matter what!
I want nobody, nobody but you I want nobody, nobody but you I want no one else but you Can't have anyone but you I want nobody nobody nobody nobody
I want nobody, nobody but you I want nobody, nobody but you I want no one else but you Can't have anyone but you I want nobody nobody nobody nobody
I don't want nobody, body I don't want nobody, body Life is unperfect without seeing you I cannot have anyone but you... ahhh
I want nobody, nobody but you I want nobody, nobody but you I want no one else but you Can't have anyone but you I want nobody nobody nobody nobody
I want nobody, nobody but you I want nobody, nobody but you I want no one else but you Can't have anyone but you I want nobody nobody nobody nobody
Rap: BacK to the days when we were so young and wild and free Everything we had back then was like a dream If only i could turn back time Why do you keep on pushing me away? why do you push me away? I don't want nobody, nobody,nobody. nobody but you
ended at; 3:11 AM
xiaobai showed me this video.. nice song and nice dance.. =)
ended at; 3:07 AM
Monday, March 30, 2009
went back to msia ytd with camen and joe instead. haha.. ytd was sunday, damn lots of people at city square.
went to a hongkong restaurant for lunch, after which, joe decided to go for a thai massage!!! thanks to him and camen psychoness, i went with them.
it just last for half an hour (half-body massage for 36ringgit). feel abit more relax after they cracked your bones here and there. went back spore after that to meet up with vincent.
was deciding which pub to go after our dinner. finally camen chose the honey pub *if i rmb the name correctly* ken and his friend came later.
slpt at ard 5+ and woke up itself at 10+ i wonder why am i not tired and woke up so early.. .......
ended at; 10:30 AM
Sunday, March 29, 2009
finally its sunday!! my working days are all over for this week.
finally can rest!!!
damn tired la, everyday work frm noon to midnight.
later will be going back msia,
because out of a sudden, camen wanted to go back with me.
maybe vincent too.. LOL!! its good though, then i wont be going back home alone...
because if i going back alone,
THE JOURNEY ITS DAMN LONELY!!
manage to get some photos from the web about aburiyatei.
feel free to drop by.. =)
the shop!
i love this! the chicken skin!
chicken wings!
and alots more!!! must give it a try on my next pay! =)
ended at; 11:55 AM
Saturday, March 28, 2009
was rather tired but still cant get to slp.. doesnt feel like working later.. ARGH!!!!
ended at; 7:14 AM
after all the sorrows and pain, alot of things went through my mind. i dont deny that i was really in love with her, thats why i continued, to get closer with her, to be with her.
slowly, she came into my life. we have been tgt for almost one month, its kinda short, but i did learn alot of things from this relationship. i was the one who suggested to break off, because i didnt want to see her suffer, troubled by our problems.
though in this relationhip we have lots of pain, theres still happy times when we were tgt. during those times, it was really my happiest moments ever. seeing her almost everyday, going out with her, hear her singing her favourite songs, and lots more. but all these didnt last long, these moments have became my sweetest memory.
i didnt regret at all to start this relationship with her. so pls, dont blame yourself. we started off beautifully and i was very shy then, and i want this to end it off beautifully as well.
i think this is a turning point for me in my life. i wasnt able to think well and say well in the past, but i have learnt alot from her. she changed me bit by bit. i have try to understand things slowly, maybe not very specific. i have try to make better decision carefully. she tried her best, i can feel it from the bottom of my heart.
no one is to blame, there is no right or wrong. hope after tonight, day after day, you are living better and better. i said this before, i said that you are really a strong girl. and you didnt prove me wrong.
i am not just some passerby friend, any problem you have, you can still look for me. i will be by your side always, i promised. hope to be your best friend too. =)
and i guess, its really the time for me to move on. up till now, i still dream of you every night. images of you just keep flashing through my mind day and night. take good care of yourself. right now, get well soon. hope next time i see you, you are healthy and as cheerful as possible. =)
PS: baby, i love you...
ended at; 6:22 AM
Friday, March 27, 2009
hang over last night. damn shack and tired. working later too. has been working for almost whole week to keep myself busy. finish my breakfast, cont to finish my project ba. next week gonna review...
我们回不到过去, 就让过去变成回忆...
ended at; 11:12 AM
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
today rui xin's birthday. all the stuff came over to tei to wish her happy birthday. after work, change of plan, went to find vin and hud. tired tired tired feel like dying.. my heart doesnt let go...
ended at; 3:41 AM
Sunday, March 22, 2009
When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out In Your Arms
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
This was the scene of ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water. We had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girl's eyeballs." Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls." Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said, "You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together or, I was lounging before the computer, visualising Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way. "Suppose we divorce, what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
Once again, Dew said to me. "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.?" Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you". She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?" I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me. "You are not a man!" At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions. She didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple. Our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, "I remember." "You carried me in your arms." She continued, "So, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning." I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce." She said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.
She closed her eyes and said softly. "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realised that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualisation of Dew became vaguer.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.
I didn't tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now." She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realised that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger.
I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old." I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious." She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead, "You got no fever." I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew. I can only say sorry to you. I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favourite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote. "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."
have change a new working environment at aburiya. its called aburiyatei. is just a small shop selling yakitori. though the shop is small, but still... work like dog!!! lol!
the food there smell nice, wanted to try too!! i want to try the kawa(chicken skin) there!!!! and alot alot more! especially the fish.. omg!! like damn nice when they bbq the fish ytd. oh ya, neh neh pok de chin chin.. ytd when i reached there, they asked me to pluck the hair from the chicken backside!! smlj!!! not easy you know.. damn lots of chicken backside la!! those hairs are like free-flow.. =.=
its a place for you to chill and enjoy the food there. its a nice place to go, but the price is not cheap either. anyone feel like dropping by just give me a call.. =D
wanted to bring you there on my next pay, but i guess everything was too late...
ended at; 3:15 PM
Thursday, March 12, 2009
first to reach sch today. first time that early. cant slp at home, just get done with everything and left home. didnt manage to fall aslp. alot of things been running through my mind. very confuse. very vex. very lost.
ended at; 7:51 AM
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
watched Kungfu Chef just now at cine. its kinda short about this movie. i think its ard 1h20min only. hong jin bao and vanness wu. not bad la.. quite funny though.. haha
just reached batok not long. kinda bored. play some dota and going slp soon =)
someone who cares about me.
someone who doesnt lies to me.
someone who doesnt hide things behind my back.
someone who doesnt break the promise.
someone who loves me.
where are you?
ended at; 12:09 AM
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
first to reach sch today. everyday just repeating one day after another.. any interesting ideas of going anywhere? still kinda stuck at webcam coding that i am doing. damn complicated la!! cant understand what the code is trying to say.. sian!!! ah pui and potato haven reach, gonna wait for them to have breakfast..
just walk back to batok frm xb hse.. knn!! damn far la! i thought quite near.. neh neh pok!
lots of things waiting for me to understand myself. maybe those things arent the right time for me yet. no one is to blame in this, i hope no one will say about who is wrong or who is right.. pls... i don want things to turn out ugly. we are still friends afterall, you guys shld be happy for me. thanks all these while that you guys are with me all along.
theres things i still cant let it go. i shall let time solve my problem ba. hope things are better for you too. just wants you to be happy. good lucks for ur first day job tml! =)
guan! time to wake up!
ended at; 3:42 AM
Sunday, March 1, 2009
exams are just over, and tml gotta go school for VPP.. not even one week holidays was given to us.. sian!!! and we will be going monday - friday, 8am - 5pm everyday!! is it so much things that we have to do??!?!?! hahaaha..
baby still slping, is my connection here really that sucks meh? hahaha.. but seriously, sometimes loading damn slow la... haha... went with her to tebrau city jusco to shop and eat. bought lots of seaweeds and a nivea whitening stuff to make her white white i think... lol!!
gotta go back later to celebrate joe birthday!! think alot ppl will be there yea! hope tonight will be an interesting night!! =D
HAPPY 22th BIRTHDAY JOE!!!
ended at; 3:44 PM
HIM;
Kim Guan, 19
DoB: 20-01-1989
MSN: kimguan1989@hotmail.com
Studying at ngee ann poly
Electronic & Computer Engineering
